10 One-Liners On Rodney Dangerfield's Family

1. I come from a stupid family. My father worked in a bank. They caught him stealing pens.

2. I took my son to Coney island. I asked, "Wanna go in the crazy house?" He said, "Save your money we'll be home soon."

3. My daughters been picked up so many times she's starting to grow handles.

4. I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.

5. The teacher told my kid, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away." He said, "What do you got for cops?"

6. That son of mine, when they made him they broke the mold. Then they set the mold on fire to be sure.

7. I come from a stupid family. During the civil war my great uncle fought for the West.

8. My uncle found a new way to cover up his bad breath. He holds up his arms.

9. My uncle heard that most deaths occurs within ten miles of the house.... so he moved.

10. My uncle's dying wish: he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair.