13 One-Liners On Woody Allen's Metaphysical Existential Crisis

1. What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?

2. Life is full of loneliness, misery, suffering, and unhappiness. And then it's all over much too quickly.

3. What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.

4. Can we actually "know" the universe? My God, it's hard enough finding your way around in Chinatown.

5. I was thrown out of college for cheating on metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.

6. Some drink deeply from the river of knowledge. Others only gargle.

7. Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.

8. Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.

9. The artist's job is not to succumb to despair by to find an antidote for the emptiness of existence. (Midnight in Paris)

10. The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep.

11. I am two with nature.

12. My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

13. Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more fun.