9 Great Lines by Woody Allen

1. You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.

2. Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.

3. What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.

4. If only God can give me some clear sign. Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank.

5. I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.

6. I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had small pox.

7. I didn't know he was dead; I thought he was British.

8. I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.

9. Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.