16 Rodney Dangerfield Jokes About His Wife

1. My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

2. Group sex are you kidding I had group sex - My wife screwed me in front of the jury.

3. I told my wife I was seeing a psychiatrist. She told me she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers & a bartender.

4. I asked him, “Who said you could fool around with my wife?” He said, “Everybody.”

5. I asked my wife, "Is there somebody else?" She said, "There MUST be."

6. I asked my wife if she enjoys a cigarette after sex and she said, "No. One drag is enough."

7. I made a toast to my wife on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.

8. I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.

9. I told my son about the birds & the bees. He told me about the butcher and my wife.

10. I'll tell you one thing, I know how to satisfy my wife in bed, yeah, I leave.

11. My psychiatrist said my wife & I should have sex every night. Now, we'll never see each other!

12. My wife was afraid of the dark... then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light.

13. During sex my wife always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel.

14. My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home.

15. My sex life is terrible. My wife put a mirror over our bed. She says she likes to watch herself laugh.

16. My wife's very jealous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.