2. It takes only 1 drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the 13th or the 14th.
3. I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.
4. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
5. I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.
6. The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending. Then having the two as close together as possible.
7. Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy driving taxis & cutting hair.
8. Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal & a good woman - or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.