8 Great One-Liners from “Uncle Milty” Milton Berle

1. You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think.

2. A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

3. The company accountant is shy & retiring. He's shy a million dollars. That's why he's retiring.

4. Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.

5. My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.

6. Laughter is an instant vacation.

7. If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

8. We owe a lot to Thomas Edison. If it wasn't for him, we'd be watching TV by candlelight.