8 George Burns One-Liners on Aging

1. First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up, and finally, you forget to pull it down.

2. Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that's down can come up.

3. When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.

4. By the time you’re eighty years old you’ve learned everything. You only have to remember it.

5. Sex at age ninety is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.

6. I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.

7. I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased to be anywhere.

8. I'm booked for the next 5 years. I can't afford to die; I'd lose too much money.