9 More Rodney Dangerfield One-Liners About His Childhood

1. Boy were we poor, if I wasn't born a boy I would of had nothing to play with.

2. My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.

3. I remember when I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.

4. When I was a kid my parents gave me a dog. His favorite bone is in my arm.

5. What a childhood I had, why, when I took my first step, my old man tripped me.

6. When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.

7. At Christmas time I sat on Santa's lap. His fly was open. Boy what a present he gave me.

8. Once when I was lost I saw a policeman and asked him to help me find my parents. I said to him, "Do you think we'll ever find them?" He said, "I don't know kid. There are so many places they can hide."

9. In my life I've been through plenty. When I was three years old, my parents got a dog. I was jealous of the dog, so they got rid of me.