2. I tell ya, my wife's a lousy cook. After dinner I don't brush my teeth. I count them.
3. My wife was never nice. On our first date, I asked if I could give her a goodnight kiss. She bent over.
4. I'll tell ya, my wife and I, we don't think alike. She donates money to the homeless. I donate to the topless.
5. My wife had her drivers test the other day. She got 8 out of 10. The other 2 guys jumped clear.
6. One guy gave my wife a piece of his mind. yeah, it was right after she took a piece of his leg.
7. My wife is such a bad cook; if we leave dental floss in the kitchen. the roaches hang themselves.
8. I walked in on my wife and the milkman, the first thing she says is "don't tell the butcher."
9. My wife's not too smart. I told her our kids were spoiled. she said, "all kids smell that way."
10. I asked my wife, “On a scale of 1 to 10, how do you rate me as a lover?” She said, “You know I'm no good at fractions.”