10 Rodney Dangerfield One-Liners About His Childhood

1. I asked my old man if I could go ice-skating on the lake. He told me, Wait til it gets warmer.

2. What a childhood I had. My parents sent me to a child psychiatrist. That kid didn't help me at all.

3. With my old man I got no respect. I asked him, "How can I get my kite in the air?" He told me to run off a cliff.

4. My dad and I used to play tag. He'd drive.

5. When I was born I brought no joy, my father said he wanted a boy.

6. Do ya remember the first time you had sex? I do, and boy, was I scared. I was alone.

7. My old man, I told him I'm tired of running around in circles, So he nailed my other foot to the floor.

8. I tell ya when I was a kid, all I knew was rejection. My yo-yo, it never came back.

9. My old man never liked me. He gave me my allowance in traveler's checks.

10. What a childhood I had - I was ten years old when I found out Alpo was dog food.