7 Great Lines from Billy Crystal

1. By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.

2. I never say famous last words, because they could be.

3. When I buy a new book, I read the last page first. That way, in case I die before I finish, I know how it ends.

4. Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.

From the movie 'Mr. Saturday Night':
5. My family spoke Yiddish, a language of coughing & spitting. Until I was fifteen I wore a raincoat.

6. I come home. I find my wife in bed w my best friend. I say “Leonard, I have to, but you?”

7. “Doctor, I have five penises.” He says, “How do your pants fit?” I said, “Like a glove.”