7 More Rodney Dangerfield One-Liners On Being Ugly

1. I'm not a sexy guy. I went to a hooker. I dropped my pants. She dropped her price.

2. I tell you, I'm not a sexy guy. I was the centerfold for Playgirl magazine. The staples covered everything.

3. My mother had morning sickness after I was born.

4. My mother took me to a dog show and I won.

5. I was so ugly, when my old man wanted sex, my mother would show him a picture of me.

6. What a dog I had. When he found out we look alike, he killed himself.

7. When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father, "I'm very sorry. We did everything we could...but he pulled through."