8 More Rodney Dangerfield Jokes About His Wife

1. My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal.

2. My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka Seltzer.

3. My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday.

4. My wife once hit a deer. It was in a zoo. There are a pair of shoes on the dashboard. they belong to the last guy she hit.

5. My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg.

6. One time my wife and I went to a hotel. I asked the bellhop to handle my bag. He felt up my wife.

7. My wife isn't very bright. The other day she was at the store, and just as she was heading for our car, someone stole it! I said, "Did you see the guy that did it?" She said, "No, but I got the license plate."

8. I tell ya, sex is getting harder all the time. Me and my wife were trying to have sex for hours last night and I finally gave up. I asked her, "What, you can't think of anybody either?"