Groucho Marx 12 Popular One-Liners

1. I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

2. I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my agent, as written in our contract.

3. All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.

4. I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it.

5. Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.

6. I've got a good mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

7. If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.

8. I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.

9. Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.

10. Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.

11. Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.

12. Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.