2. I get no respect. I joined Gamblers Anonymous. They gave me 2 to 1 I wouldn't make it.
3. I get no respect. I told my psychiatrist, "Doc, I keep thinking I'm a dog." He told me to get off his couch.
4. I get no respect from my dog. He keeps barking at the front door. He doesn't want to go out. He wants me to leave.
5. I tell you, with my doctor, I don't get no respect. I told him, "I've swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills." He told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.
6. My psychiatrist told me I'm going crazy. I told him, "If you don't mind, I'd like a second opinion." He said, "All right. You're ugly too!"
7. I get no respect at all. When I was a kid, I lost my parents at the beach. I asked a lifeguard to help me find them. He said "I don't know kid, there are so many places they could hide."
8. I'll tell ya, I don't get no respect. The other day, I got back from a business trip. I got in a cab and said to the driver, "Hey! Take me to where the action is!" So ya know where he took me? He took me to my house.