2. A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
3. A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
4. Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
5. Humor is reason gone mad.
6. These are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.
7. Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
8. Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child.
9. Before I speak, I have something important to say.
10. I drink to make other people more interesting.
11. One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.
12. There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says yes, you know he’s a crook.
13. The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.