7 One-Liners From Gilbert Gottfried

1. I can't even find someone for a platonic relationship, much less someone wants to see me naked.

2. Being a comedian is being funny, but I've given that up, so there is no pressure whatsoever.

3. Well, I play Jews and parrots. Parrots are how I've branched out.

4. I'm eventually gonna take the Daryl Hannah parts.

5. Unfortunately, I've never been mistaken as Johnny Depp.

6. I think influence is used as a nice word for plagiarism.

7. I predict one of these two teams will win the Super Bowl.