10 One-Liners About Henny Youngman's Family

1. Just got back from a pleasure trip a I took my mother-in-law to the airport.

2. My mother-in-law is a little dear. I wish it was hunting season.

3. I told my mother-in-law, my house is your house. So last week she sold it.

4. What is a home without children? Quiet.

5. My brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself.

6. If my mother knew I did this for a living, she'd kill me. She thinks I'm selling dope.

7. My son complains about headaches. I tell him all the time, when you get out of bed, it's feet first!

8. My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that's not so bad; but New York City?

9. My brother was a lifeguard in a car wash.

10. My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.