2. I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.
3. I'm gettin' old, why, when I was young they called me “self-deprecating.” Now it's usually “self-defecating.”
4. I'm at the age where I want two girls. In case I fall asleep they will have someone to talk to.
5. Boy, I’m getting old. My sex life is like shooting pool with a rope.
6. I told my doctor I wanna stop aging. He gave me a gun.
7. I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice. I don't know if I'm coming or going.