7 More Great George Burns One-Liners on Aging
2. I don't believe in dying. I'm working on a new exit. Besides, I can't die now - I'm booked.
3. At my age flowers scare me.
4. I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
5. If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age.
6. It's good to be here. At ninety-eight, it's good to be anywhere.
7. I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.
8 Favorite One-Liners From George Burns
2. It takes only 1 drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the 13th or the 14th.
3. I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.
4. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
5. I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.
6. The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending. Then having the two as close together as possible.
7. Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy driving taxis & cutting hair.
8. Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal & a good woman - or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.
8 George Burns One-Liners on Aging
2. Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that's down can come up.
3. When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
4. By the time you’re eighty years old you’ve learned everything. You only have to remember it.
5. Sex at age ninety is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
6. I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
7. I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased to be anywhere.
8. I'm booked for the next 5 years. I can't afford to die; I'd lose too much money.